I still can't believe it, but I offer proof:
1.
Belly Shot--documentation of expanding girth requested by many.
2.
Giant Body Pillow--to support the ballooning belly at night, when I am ostensibly sleeping, but when I am actually struggling to roll over. eating copious amounts of TUMS (berry flavor) and getting up to pee.
3.
New Reading List--have moved on from pregnancy type books to birth/baby manuals. Some of the photos are so
gruesome!!! I am thinking, "Is it too late to change my mind!?"
4. "
Birth Ball"--Although at the store where I bought it (Target--natch) it was marketed as an "exercise ball," but our kookster
doula Sandra says it's a
birth ball, and who am I to contradict her? She wears zebra-print sunglasses inside--she's a badass!
My mom said to me: "Pregnancy is for the birds." I have to say I agree. I am not glowing so much as I am enduring what I consider to be a unpleasant means to an end. Some lady in my yoga class, during the extra-awkward "sharing" portion of the class, said she had learned about herself that she "really loves being pregnant." I wanted to respond that I had just learned about
myself that I was capable of murdering a stranger.
He better be a really cute kid.
