Baby's First Ice Cream

We went to SF's finest ice cream hut, Mithchell's, me, Karen (my sister-in-law), Julia (nutty chocolate eater), Elly (my sister, not pictured) and, of course, Everett Cash Becker. Yum.

Homemade Gear

We have some crafty pals who crafted up some baby gear. Snail onesie by Anna, and bunny coming out of a top hat t-shirt by Susannah.

He's a Good Sleeper!

Oh man, he is so cute when he is sleeping. Check out "classic sleep hand" position above.

Scones-schmones--WE MADE A BABY!!!

Everett Cash Becker, born at 1:38 in the AM of October 10, a wee bit early! 7 lbs, 13 oz, 20 inches, all boy. Cute as the dickens. Thanks to all well-wishers--we'll come up for air someday! All are well. More later. Check EPICLYTRIFE for further "EC" coverage.

I MADE SCONES!!!

Look, I am sorry to be a queer Sally Homemaker type, but today I made scones(orange-cranberry, here's a link) from the caterer we all love to hate, The Food Network's Ina Garten, AKA The Barefoot Cuntessa, and I can't believe how PROFESSIONAL they look and how good! I did it all by myself! You have to make them. I gave one to Evan, and he ate it to be nice, even though he doesn't go in for the baked goods so much...

Evan Gets a C-Section

So, I think the childbirth educator chose Evan as the "mother" in this hilarous--and fun!--role-playing exercise just to hassle him. He had to lie on the floor, surrounded by pregnant women and their bewildered husbands, while our teacher told us all about what happens in a c-section and stuff. He was wearing a pretend layer thing that said all the layers, like "fat," "muscle," and "uterus." I was laughing so hard and you know I had to take pictures for the blog, which our teacher found only mildly amusing. I don't think she likes us very much.

Belly Check!

So this week, people have started saying charming things, like, "I saw your stomach coming before I saw you!" You can imagine how hilarious I find that. Check the belly button--all popped out!

We Had an Epic Shower

So, Evan's pals threw us an awesome shower--check out this sweet gift! For a full report, go to his blog,EPICLY TRIFE, you won't be disappointed. It's hilar! I almost peed my pants from laughing. Not like that's super-unusual these days, but...

Go to the September 26th post, "SHOWERWISE."

It Brings Out the Blue in His Eyes

Look how happy daddy is to be painting his boy's room! And don't you find that blue ever-so-soothing?

I Found a Hundred Bucks!!

On the street! Can you even believe it? I never, ever found cash before! I was even coming from a dinner I thought I really shouldn't be affording, so it was that much the better! Happy Labor Day to me! But I felt sad for the person who lost it. Sorry, dude. If you read this blog, and you can tell me where you lost a hundred bucks, I'll give it back.

We Really Are Having a Baby! For Reals!

I still can't believe it, but I offer proof:

1. Belly Shot--documentation of expanding girth requested by many.

2. Giant Body Pillow--to support the ballooning belly at night, when I am ostensibly sleeping, but when I am actually struggling to roll over. eating copious amounts of TUMS (berry flavor) and getting up to pee.





3. New Reading List--have moved on from pregnancy type books to birth/baby manuals. Some of the photos are so gruesome!!! I am thinking, "Is it too late to change my mind!?"

4. "Birth Ball"--Although at the store where I bought it (Target--natch) it was marketed as an "exercise ball," but our kookster doula Sandra says it's a birth ball, and who am I to contradict her? She wears zebra-print sunglasses inside--she's a badass!

My mom said to me: "Pregnancy is for the birds." I have to say I agree. I am not glowing so much as I am enduring what I consider to be a unpleasant means to an end. Some lady in my yoga class, during the extra-awkward "sharing" portion of the class, said she had learned about herself that she "really loves being pregnant." I wanted to respond that I had just learned about myself that I was capable of murdering a stranger.

He better be a really cute kid.

Long Time No See!

So here's why no posting in a while (three main reasons):

1. (Say this in an old-lady-smoker-brooklynite voice)
My Sciatica is Killing Me!
But actually it's way better now, on account of me doing lots of funny back exercises and simultaneous kegels (saves time). You ladies know what I am talking about!

2. The baby kicks me right under the ribs every time I sit up instead of leaning way back. This makes sitting at the computer tough. He is already grounded.

3. I have been back at work, and this has involved a lot of OCD-style organizing of a room where not a whole lot has been thrown away in the last century, from what I could tell. I went to the container store and bought 50 clear containers, and so did the other kindergarten teacher, and we could barely get them all in the car and let me tell you, I ran out of containers, that's how much organizing I am doing. I took every single thing off the shelves and out from under the sink and from every other place and I put about half of it in the hallway, and then the teacher who used to be in my room a few years ago came by and commented on how I was throwing away all her special things, but I have to believe she was joking, at least I choose to believe that, on account of she does have a real good sense of humor, and if she wanted any of that stuff she could have kept it, am I right? Anyway I should have taken some "before" shots, but here are some "during" and one of my obsessively organized shelves now. I'm almost done. By the time school starts I'll be dead of a heart attack.

Differently-Abled Comedians and Inappropriate Murals--My Big Night Out

So, my friends Emily and Laura have been watching "Last Comic Standing" a lot and are obsessed with this comedian who has cerebral palsy, Josh Blue, who is on the show. He was doing a show here in SF, and Emily had an extra ticket, and I was all, "I'm in!" You know the idea of a spastic comedian appeals to my sensibility! So we went, and he was semi-funny, I thought, but Laura and Emily were laughing so hard they were almost throwing up, which was really funny. Later, they got a celebrity shot with him, and you can see our friend, Rachel, was not quite that into getting her picture taken with him, hence her separation from the group.

Then we left the club and saw these upsetting murals, and I was all like, "Sweet Jesus! This would never fly in New York! Or at least he would be circumcised!"


























And then we saw this Sharpie car, which made me really happy and kind of made up for the upsettingness of the murals. Because, as many of you know, I just really love Sharpies.

Sciatica--It's Not Just for Grandmas Anymore!

So, here's the nicest, most fanciest addition to my wardrobe--my new pregnancy belt! I forgot to put on the top strap, which goes over the belly, for full photo effect. It's cute, right? My pal Beth (lover of Las Vegas) was here for a visit, and she took a photo from behind, as well, but I could not bear to post it, due to it making me look like I am perhaps growing the child in my butt.

Daddy's Buildin' Us a Guest Room!

This is so when you come visit you don't have to sleep with the baby or the cats, and the special couch will be here too, in case you want to sit on it, you can! If you are the kind of guest that needs to pee in the middle of the night, however, you will sleep upstairs and we'll put the baby somewhere else, maybe down here where we can't hear him cry. This room will have a lovely view of the garden, and easy access to the washer/dryer if you want to do some chores. I am not invited to the work area right now, due to my interruptive tendencies. In fact Evan has encouraged me to go see a movie, and why don't I go right now?

Let Me Tell You Some More Stuff About Vegas

It was so freaking hot. I had to go to the pool by 8:00 AM and leave by 11:00, which for me is a real tragedy because I am really more of a 10:00-6:00 pool person. But look how cute our drinks were! We stayed at Treasure Island (TI!) which is trying to slut-up its image, so they have this racy pirate/siren show outside, where one lady--she's the main slutty siren-- says, I am not kidding, "A lot of sea-men have swum up in my cove." I got the best photo I could of this one pirate guy in bondage, who from far-away looked just like Ari from Entourage, which greatly enhanced my enjoyment of the show. Then there was lots of fire, and fireworks! Whooh! It was the only show we saw (except for the fountains at the Bellagio, which we expressly visited in honor of my friend Beth, who LOVES Vegas, especially the Bellagio, although you would never guess that about her) on account of it was FREE.

Vegas, Baby, Vegas

Backing up about a month, my little brother got married in Vegas. I don't mind telling you that it was about a million degrees there. He got married at the Venetian which was so huge it took about half-an-hour just to walk through it. It was funny when they were taking wedding photos there were people in their bikinis just out of range of the camera. I tried to capture that on film but no dice. Isn't his wedding party glamorous? His bride wore dusty pink, which I though was very chic. He was nervous. Even though he denies it, he does admit that he thought he he might faint, but NOT 'cause he was nervous at all.

And check out my photo of the ladies in the family: my mom, my sister, and me. Hey, I also don't mind saying, check out my rack! And I was trying to be modest! The boob fairy has arriveth!

The Berla Clan

These are the Berlas. Kathy is my aunt, my mother's sister, and the other guys are my "Unca George" and my two cousins, Lucas and Corey. There's one other one, Jeremy, I think he's traveling somewhere. They are a very loving and close family, can't you tell by the way they are all gathered around the lemon? They live in Walnut Creek, in the East Bay, where it's like one million degrees right now, so they came to SF for some relief. We went for a walk at Ocean Beach, where, incidentally, we were very frightened by a raving lunatic homeless person in a wild fennel patch. Nothing bad happened to us, it was just a scare. Of course I left my camera in the car, so was unable to capture breathtaking veiws of the ocean and the GG Bridge, typical. The next time I go there all will be obsured by fog. Anyway, they all came over to check out the pad, and we gave them a lemon and some herbs. The second photo is a tip-of-the-hat to my mom, who really enjoys a still life.

VSP Maker Visits SF!

So, Alex Hadley, famous clay pot designer, came to vist SF with his family. They stopped by Alabama Street and we got a shot with the artist and his work.

The Original Julia

For those of you that don't know, my little sister is also named Julia. This is her at her graduation this May. Could she be any f-ing cuter?!! I love this girl. I cried like a baby at her graduation. Do you like that girl in the background with her mouth wide open? That's one of Julia's best friends. I bet she wouldn't appreciate this being on my blog. Oh well.